Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Never is a four letter word

Have you ever heard the term "Don't write checks with your mouth that your ass can't cash"? I learned a while ago that when you use the word "never" it's like asking the universe to book mark that idea, judgement, or opinion so you can circle back to it yourself at another point.

This can be any number of things. I'll give you an example. In my early twenties I had a smokin' hot body. When I met my husband he was impressed with my ability to eat anything. I wasn't the typical salad eater when we went out. I'd strap on the old feed bag with the rest of the guys. Foolishly I thought I'd keep this virile young metabolism forever! I also thought people "let" themselves get fat or out of shape. Like it was a choice for everyone. I would NEVER let myself get like THAT! Check written. At the age of 25 I started having these terrible back issues. My doctor thought it was a result of my jogging on cement and said it was a joint issue. I'd have the back pain every once and while. Then when I was 28 I was working out much more in preparation for my wedding. I had 3 flare ups in 6 months. So my doctor sent me in for an MRI where we discovered that I had 2 herniated disks in my lower back that aggravated my sciatic nerve. Awesome. My lifestyle was forever changed with that diagnosis. I put on 25 lbs the first year. Check Cashed.

Over the course of the years I've seen this happen time and time again in my own life. I've tried so hard to stop using the word "never". It's a four letter word! It's a dare to the universe! I have this image of God sitting up in heaven with his "lesson board". When you say things like "We'll NEVER break up!" or "When I have kids I'll NEVER yell at them!" or "I've NEVER lost my job because I'm a good employee". These are all lessons to be learned. You will break up because he or she turns out to be someone different than you fell in love with. You will yell at your kids because it is normal and unavoidable. And you will lose your job because your company goes under and the fact that you're a good employee can't save you.
It may not happen right away. It could be years down the road. But chances are that at some point you will experience the flip side of those statements. The universe is listening.

I figured this one out years ago. But there are still checks out there floating around. I still have outstanding "never's" that have their lesson attached to them. And try as I may to avoid the cashing process, it always catches up to me! But the bright side to all of these check cashings is that we grow and become empathetic to the people around us. We slowly learn that we are not the exception. That we are just like the people we judge. We become more capable of compassion and understanding. So keep an eye out for when your never checks head back to be cashed.

No comments:

Post a Comment