Saturday, March 26, 2011
My Big Girl Panties
I come from strong stock. Both the women on my mother's side and my father's side are tough, strong, and mouthy. Being that my mother is from a family of 7- 6 of which are women- when they all get in the same room you better bring a hat and hold the f@$k onto it! Because it's gonna get loud and it's gonna get intense! Yes, the women in my family don't do shy and bashful. And we certainly aren't dainty.
When you are raised to wear your big girl panties every day, you have to be mindful to use your powers for good instead of evil. Some people just don't know how to deal with strong women. And as far as we are into the new millennium the fact is that most people still view strong women as "bitches". I will admit that it can be a fine line to travel for some. But my mama raised me to assert my strength in a graceful manner. It's a balance y'all.
And I will say that it takes a special kind of man to marry one of us. A saintly man. A man who is strong himself but wouldn't dream of stifling our strength. And if the men we meet can't hang? PEACE OUT! Because we can and will down it ourselves. It can be hard for men to understand a strong woman. Most men want to be providers and be the ones to "fix" things in their lady's life. But I'm gonna tell you this; my husband is my partner- not my care taker. I feel that our relationship is better for that. He knows that I am here out of choice- not necessity.
My mother did such an amazing job of raising us after she and my father divorced that I never felt as though I "needed" a man in my life. She stressed that I should WANT a man, not NEED one. My mother raised all 3 of us girls by herself, worked full time, put herself through school, and none of us ended up in jail (despite my efforts!). I'm not putting my father down as he's a great dad. He just lived in another state so my mom was our main parent. And she wore her big girl panties daily! I'm sure there were days, weeks, and the teen years where she wished she could retire those bad boys! But on they stayed. It's how we roll.
I wear my big girl panties daily as well. When I am at home alone with all 3 boys and I am wondering how I'm gonna get laundry done, food made, things cleaned, blogs written, and take a shower I give myself the talk. "There are thousands of women out there doing this every day. Some with more children than you. Some with husbands who have passed, are military overseas, or have just taken off altogether. Suck it up sister and get 'er done!"
Our brains are literally the only things that keep us from our capabilities. This is true not just at home but at work, school, in relationships, etc. We are the ONLY ones that control if we believe in ourselves enough to tackle the task at our feet. I often say that confidence is the difference between being good and being great. This thought has carried me for years in many situations. I've shared this belief of mine with friends and employees- whoever will listen. It's as true as true gets ladies.
I am proud of my big girl panties. I wear them with pride. When it boils down to it, I have to be proud of who I am at the end of the day. I have to reconcile the decisions I have made. I have to be the parent I want my children to become. No one else can do these things for me. So strap on your big girl panties ladies and show them off with pride!