If you look at my top 10 blogs, there are some amazing pieces of literary art there. However, I'm willing to bet that they aren't all there based on their amazing literary content. Rather, they are at the top of the list because of sickos searching for naughty things that raised the click count. Some of these include:
My Big Girl Panties A story about being a strong woman. NOT a story about women's panties and if you mom, brother, sister, or room mate is currently wearing them.
Naughty Stories This is a blog about cherishing all the naughty things your children do because they make the best stories to tell down the line. NOT a story about naughty nurses, grandmas, girl scouts, or the like. You sick bastards.
And so it continues. Some of my favorite (I guess) search terms that have been used to find my blog include these classics:
"person with 2 penises"
"big lady knickers"
"Should I wear my sister's panties"
"naughty knickers"
But it's not just me that's a pervo magnet! It's my fellow bloggers as well! I asked my Tweeps to provide the funniest search terms used to find their blogs. Here's' what we got!
My homie Princess Amy at Not a Real Princess (Except to my boys) Has found "MILFs in thongs and Pooped my pants" in her stats. Awesome.
Then my girl Alisha at Blahyaya has gazed upon the words "True story mom and aunt fucked me". WTF?!
Lidia at Lidia-anain gets the extra special pleasure of having creepy stalker style search terms! "Lidia Anain lives, Lidia Anain age, & Lidia Anain pictures"
Over at Fairy Tale Forgotten my friend gets things like "Naked fairy tales". Huh?
Then there's the sad ones like my friend Michele at Professional Gremlin Wrangler who got this gem "I'm 16 pregnant and addicted to cocaine". How that lead anyone to her parenting blog is a mystery.
And finally my very favorite collection of search terms was provided by my Twitter Twin John over at Daddy Runs A Lot who checks his stats to see things like "bin Laden boobs," "midget porn," "how to maintain celibacy". Well some guys just get all the luck!
So no doubt that with all these search terms actually IN my blog, this will become my most popular post in all of history. Sad for the sickos who were expecting to see two kittens nursing on a naughty nurse while she defecates on a piano. But great for my stats! Thanks you sick fucks!
This is hilarious and yes, disturbing. I don't even know how to check this for my blog but now I want to know (I think). For sure poop will be in there...but in what context I shudder to think..haha!
ReplyDeletePeople search the wildest things. If you watch the search terms too closely you lose some faith in humanity. LOL at Daddy Runs A Lot getting the "midget porn" seekers. I wrote a piece about being 4'8" and I get some of those too. =)
ReplyDeleteMy number 1 search is Wild Horses which is strange, followed by poop, which is funny since I hate that topic so very much, followed closely by fatty fatty fat fat.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. The worst one I ever got was "daughter eating mom out" - he got directed to this post: http://timeoutmomma.blogspot.com/2011/05/kevin-costners-daughter-is-eating-my.html
I'm envious - I never have hilarious search engine results!
ReplyDeleteMy search engine results haven't been quite that much fun. I keep an eye on them from time to time, though, just in case!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete