Monday, September 12, 2011
Your mama's no saint kid.
First rule of baby fight club: Always throw the smack down when mom is on the toilet or in the shower. This makes for optimal fight response.
So I come out of the bathroom still dripping wet (trust me it's not as hot as you think) and mad as Hell. "What are you fighting about NOW?!"
The answer was the usual "He never listens to me!"
"He was being mean!"
"He looked at me funny!"
"He hurt my feelings!"
Followed by me begging them to explain what on Earth two kids 11 years apart in age can possibly have to fight about! Why can't they just get along? Do they like fighting? Why can't they speak kindly to each other? Why? WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYY?????
In my defense, this was the morning after the baby's 1st birthday BBQ and I hadn't had coffee yet. So I was begging. BEGGING to know why this continued to happen every time I stepped into the shower.
Second rule of baby fight club: No one talks. The less you say, the more that vein on mom's head throbs.
We're now at the point where neither kid will speak. That's infuriating! So I ask the oldest, as he glares at me, "Why are you so mad at him? He's FOUR!"
Then the response comes.
"I'm not mad at him. I'm mad at you"
"Mad at me?! WHY?"
"Because you always yell."
Third rule of baby fight club: Deny. Deny. Deny. It's NEVER your fault. It's always the parents' fault. This rule carries into the teen years.
I then launch into the old "I only yell because you don't listen" diatribe. But later I sat and stewed on this moment. What on Earth makes our children think that we are these mommy robots who will willingly accept the fight and let them have at it without repercussions because this is what we signed up for. Are we not allowed to shower? Are we not allowed to sit alone in a bathroom for 5 minutes to do our business. Like the title "Mom" erased those rights for us?
Parents aren't perfect. We don't enter into parenthood perfect and we certainly don't achieve any level of sainthood as we navigate our way through the child rearing process. But our children are still thrown off when we have human moments like losing it when they fight.
Moms and Dads make bad decisions, swear, yell, etc. every day. Because we're people too. We use the bathroom and we shower too. So it's about time you get used to that! We cut you slack all the time so try and give us a bit of slack from time to time too. We aren't mommy & daddy robots. We have a history and a story. We fought with our siblings and made bad choices too. So we know a thing or two about the business of childhood.
Final rule of baby fight club: Never underestimate mom and dad. They have a crazy look in their eye and something tells me they won't go down without a fight.