Saturday, March 12, 2011

I'm A Skinny Brain Surgeon

I am a skinny brain surgeon. This must be true because I said it. Don't believe me? Here, let me repeat it until it becomes true.

I'm a skinny brain surgeon.
I'm a skinny brain surgeon.
I'm a skinny brain surgeon.
I'm a skinny brain surgeon.
I'm a skinny brain surgeon.

Still not convinced? Hmmmmm. It seems to work for my 4 year old. See, my 4 year old is entering this glorious stage where he believes that if he repeats something enough, it will make it true. This is especially annoying endearing when we are attempting to assert our athority as parents. It goes a little something like this:

Me: "It's time to go to bed honey"
4: "I'm not going to be. I'm watching Sprout."
Me: "No. I'm sorry but it's bed time."
4: "Nope. I'm watching Sprout."
I now turn TV off.
Me: "This is not a question and I am not offering you an option here."
4: "Okay mom. I understand. But I'm gonna watch Sprout."

What in their little brains makes them think that we're going to just shake our heads and say "I'm sorry sweetie! I didn't realize you were watching Sprout until you repeated it 15 times. We old folks sometimes need to have things repeated for us. Forget that whole bed time thing. It was a silly idea!"

I know this is them learning their independance, blah, blah, blah. I also know that children learn by repitition. And although I have already been through it once before with my oldest, it still gets me. I think it would be awesomesauce if the kidlets had thought bubbles.

Sometimes I just stare at them as they make absolutely no sense but continue to defend their statements and I wonder how it's all working out in their heads. Is it: "Geez lady! I'm saying it over and over! What don't you get?"
Or does it go more like: "This old lady's hearing it SHOT!"
Or maybe something like: "Please be true! Please be true! Please be true!"

One thing's for sure, if I applied this type of thinking in my adult world, things wouldn't go so well.
Officer: "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
Me: "No sir."
Officer: "You were going 45 in a 25"
Me: "No. I was going 25"
Officer: "No ma'am. You were going 45"
Me: "Nope. It was 25"
Officer: "My radar gun was just calibrated and we have video footage ma'am"
Me: "I'm still gonna go with 25"
Officer: "This isn't a debate. You were really going 45"
Me: "AAAAAAAAND again, I was going 25"
Officer: "Step out of the car ma'am"


  1. We have 5 year old whose kinda like that :) She loves to choose and persist in the non-options. Hang in there ... they will figure it out!

  2. OMG!!! THIS absolutely made my day!!! OMfreakingGod!!! (SORRY)

    I love, love LOVE, the way you think and write. This is a page from my life with my toddler... who actually does not speak yet... but I get it.

    Thank you so much for the laugh... The officer part is what made the juice come out of my nose!! xoxox