Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Dear Drunk Driver,

Dear Drunk Driver,

It's been 15 months since you hit us. I know this because my baby, who was 4 weeks old and in the car, is now 16 months old. I know that because I have been in pain for 15 months. I have been through physical therapy, chiropractic, massage, and three rounds of cortisone injections in the last 15 months. I have been on pain killers for 15 months. And I am still not fixed.

I have trouble lifting my right arm due to the damaged disks in my neck that have left me with painful nerve damage in my arm. It's painful to put on a jacket or fasten my own bra. It's hard to lift my own children. My arm is weak. I've woken up in the middle of the night unable to feel my arm or tell if my hand is touching something. Thanks for that.

I am now 2 inches shorter than I was before you slammed into us. TWO inches. That's about 1/2 and inch for each disk that you damaged. My spine is still a bit twisted. While it's no longer this bad,

My hips don't sit even and I wear down the botton of the shoes on my right foot faster that my left and the clothes I wear always end up twisted to the right of my body.  I have had chronic headaches since the accident.  For months they were so painful I couldn't get out of bed some days until the handful of painkillers finally set in.  This made me unable to take care of my children. 

So tell me drunk driver, were those few beers worht it?  Did you have a good time with your buddies?  Was it worth it not to wait until you were 21 to drink?  Was it worth it not to wait a few hours until you were sober before driving home?

For the record, I don't wish you harm.  I don't want your life to be ruined by this event.  You were just a kid.  But I do want you to learn.  I hope this has been an aweful experience for you too.  I hope you kow how lucky you are that no one was killed that night.  I hope you realize that God was with you.  Yes.  You.  You were so lucky that we were all in S.U.V.'s and that the car you hit head on after you hit us was a Hummer.  You were blessed that night just as we were.  But I hope that this shook you.  I hope you NEVER make this choice again. I hope that when you got out of your car and saw that you hit a car full of babies that it shook you. I hope you understand the repricussions and that you don't think yourself the victim.  I hope you understand why you went to jail and why it's hard to get insurance now or why employers may pass you up because of your history.  And I hope you take all these seriosly and accept your responisbility for them.

As for me, I am still working on recovery.  Pain free days are few and far between and surgery may be in my future as all the therapies we've tried these last 15 months haven't yielded results.  There's been improvement, but I'm not fixed.  I'm tired of doctor's appointments and pain killers.  I'm tired of not being able to sleep or waking up in pain. I'm tired of having to think about how I'm going to carry my baby.  I'm just tired.

So please drunk driver, promise you'll never do this again.  Please know it's not worth it.  Please tell your friends how hard this has been.  Now that you know better, do better.


  1. *hug*

    I truly hope he learned his lesson . . . and those near him learned their lessons through him . . . and those near those learned their lessons through them.

    I'm just so so sorry that you've had to deal with the bullshit you've had to deal with because of this stupidity.

    (and while this is a completely sincere post, and I shouldn't ruin it with a sophomoric comment, I can't help myself: I do love that picture of the hardware in your hips, just because of the way your boobs show up in the X-ray)

  2. Love this. Your words are so true & heartfelt. I hope with all my being that these words somehow reach that drunk driver. There are too many accidents happening at the hands of dummy drunk drivers. I hope you and your son make a quick recovery. *hugs*

  3. This was so powerful to read. I hope it gets picked up and published somewhere. I bet it could save lives if published widely. I'll be tweeting and sharing for you.

    And I'm so sorry for what some ignorant did to you and your family.

  4. It just sucks and that's all there is too it. I really hope he learns and you heal.