Friday, June 18, 2010

So long... but for how long?!

So the other day my husband and I took a big parenting step. We sent our oldest son off on a plane to spend an indefinite amount of time in California with family this summer. Let's face it. Things haven't been fun around here lately with mom on bed rest. Our oldest son has had to step up and take on responsibilities that most kids don't have to. Additionally he is still learning to deal with the loss of his grandpa in January. It's been a heavy year for all of us. And after an incident at school where he mouthed off to a teacher & got suspended, we realized that he was falling between the cracks with everything that was going on. He needed time to make sense of everything that has happened and could still happen. He also needed to be a kid. And with my inability to leave the house coupled up with our dire financial situation, his summer was looking bleak.

But my family in California (Mom and 2 sisters plus their family) stepped up and offered to take him in. We bought him a one way ticket and told him it was up to him to decide when he wanted to come back. Be it in a week or a month. He was nervous about leaving us alone for the first time so he wasn't sure how long he wanted to be gone. We arranged for him to still have chores while staying with my mom and to help my sister and her family get ready for their move to Washington at the end of July. So he still had to pitch in as he is a guest in their homes. But my family is also quite excited to have him so they are planning lots of fun things like trips to Alcatraz, Santa Cruz, water parks, etc. Hopefully it will be a good balance of work and play!

It's so bitter sweet not to have him here this summer. But in my current state I can't be the mom he needs and I can't give him the summer he wants or deserves. His summer should be more than cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, and taking care of his bed ridden mom. And being kooked up in the house with his brother was starting to drive them to fight. Yes. 11 years apart in age and they fight!

So while I already miss him terribly, I am so glad we took that step and sent him away. My job right now is to keep our new little one in my belly as long as possible and the stress that this summer was going to bring would have been too much. He will have a summer filled with memories with a part of his family he doesn't get to see too often. He will have so much to tell us and he is sure that he wants to be back by the time we have the baby. It's a good thing.... right?

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