Sunday, December 26, 2010

Drama-It's a choice

I had a dramatic upbringing. Drama flowed freely in our house of women- 3 of us teens at the same time. Poor mom. Much of this drama was courtesy of yours truly. But thanks to my mother's patience, a few visits from the Oakland Police Department, & a heavy dose of professional counseling for me we all made it out alive! And, I made a decision to have as little drama in my adult life as possible.

This wasn't an immediate change. It's taken years of self evaluation, deep breathes, and tongue biting to get to a point where I understand the difference between crappy things happening to you and drama. Hard times in your life are unavoidable. They're going to happen. But it's how you respond to them that dictates if they will be dramatic or not. This year our lives were turned upside down with more bad news than we ever expected. But we kept our heads up and handled ourselves with as much dignity as possible. This wasn't just important for us. It was also extremely important for our children. I believe that once God has placed children in your care it is your job to eliminate drama and set an example for them. You need to be a shelter for your children. And choosing drama and involving your children doesn't do any good.

Every time horrible circumstances come across my path I remind myself that it will pass and that far worse things are happening to other people every day. I think that, for myself, the realization that I may not be unique in my circumstance but that I most certainly can be unique in my response to it has been the life changer for me. Example: Some people spin out of control because of divorce. That could pertain to spouses or children. So before indulging your urge to be self indulgent and then blame everyone but yourself remember that it may be a low point for you right now, but that people do it and do it well every day without submitting to the drama. I know for me, my first 8 weeks on bed rest found me in self pity, chaos, & fear. Until I joined a forum of bed rest mommies and realized this happens every day and that other moms have it worse. So even though I had another 15 weeks of bed rest, it was full of love and not drama. It was a choice.

So if I have been able to make this choice then I also expect the same from those I choose to be around me and my children. I can't and won't deal with lies, exaggerations, bad choices in the name of hard times, and the like. We are all adults and as adults we must be who we want our children to become. If you want your children to grow up unable to cope when life throws curveballs at them then continue with the drama. But if you want them to be successful adults, employees, spouses, and event parents, then make your choices.

1 comment:

  1. I swear I feel like I could have written this post! Thank the Lord for no more drama, even if it was self inflicted! LOL ***hugs***