Monday, December 27, 2010
Why Twitter will make you a better mom
As many of you know, I am an avid Tweeter. I Tweet about big things like my bed rest adventure and even the birth of my baby to little things like when the baby finally pooped after days of constipation. And I have to confess that Twitter has become one giant source of mommy support for me. I have a fantastic circle of real life friends that offer all kinds of support but during bed rest having moms on Twitter who were or had been on bed rest was invaluable. And after I had the baby I had several mommies with newborns who would all Tweet during midnight feedings and such and it made me feel better knowing I wasn't the only one awake at butt thirty in the morning!
But I think the thing I love most about Twitter is that it allows mommies to vent and be heard at any time of day. There are so many social expectations of mothers and sometimes a girl can feel a bit suffocated. I think that for the most part mommies still feel censored, like we don't have a voice. Like we still need to keep a smile and put on a brave face. Heaven forbid mom have a bad day and flip her shit when the kids are at each others throats (again!) or when the hubby makes her angry. Even though women have clearly advanced since busting out of their aprons in the 50's, there is still this Madonna (the virgin- not the "Like a virgin") imagery society has in regard to mothers. We can't lose our tempers. We can't admit that it's overwhelming some days. We can't call our kids brats or say our husbands are jerks- even if we only mean it until the mood passes. We can't drink, smoke, or pop a Xanax from time to time. We can't wear clothes that make us feel sexy (yes moms still like to feel sexy!). And Lord help us if we have tattoos!
The truth is that motherhood is a blessing but there are other moments where it feels like a curse! I love my kids unconditionally (obligatory disclaimer) and nothing they do on any day will ever change that. So what's the problem with having days where you want to lock yourself in the bathroom with a bottle (or two) of wine and turn your iPod up until you can't hear the screams, whines, and nagging? Well while we can't (legally) do that, we can now instantly connect to a plethora of amazing mommies who know exactly what that feels like and can cheer us on and talk us down. Twitter is a place we can scream (IN ALL CAPS) or cuss (so little ears don't hear) the minute we get upset. This form of venting can be super cathartic and allow moms to move on from the moment quicker. No more shutting your mouth and bottling your feelings behind a smile until one day you explode and go on a wine drinking brownie eating credit card burning rampage. Yes kids- Twitter makes me a better mom!
The Holidays really sealed the deal on this theory for me. I can't even tell you how many Tweets I read about crazy in laws, stupid husbands, and ungrateful kids. These were moments in the lives of my Twitter moms that needed their own voice so these mommies could move past it and enjoy their Holiday. It's like our internal dialogues finally have an external outlet! Sometimes they sound like sheer frustration. Sometimes they sound like snarky sarcasm. Sometimes they are straight up anger. But if it keeps a smile on mommy's face while still giving her a voice, then you go girls! Twitter seems to have become a place for moms to get a little piece of themselves back. So keep Twweting ladies! You need it and believe it or not- your family needs it too!