Monday, July 5, 2010

Rediscovering my sisters

I have 2 sisters that I was raised with. We were not close growing up. Quite to the contrary. We fought like the dickens! When we were little we got along better. The three of us ran around the yard playing Charlie's Angels and making witches brew in the puddles in our gravel driveway. But all three of us were born within 4 years of each other (hail mom!) so once the teen years hit.... the hormones took over and the hatred set in. It didn't help that there was an odd number of us too. I am sure if you asked any one of us, we would tell you that the other two "always" ganged up on us. But in reality I think it was fair rotation. Now, I know that when people use the phrase "tried to kill each other" they use it in jest. I use it in a matter of fact, actual, physical, really mean to do it type of way. There was blood drawn, bruises left, hair pulled, and too many holes in the walls and doors to count. We didn't say "I love you" to each other and apologies only came when prompted by our mother. And being teenage girls our tounges were our sharpest weapon of all. The hormones and desire to be individuals when we were all so close in age drove a wedge between the crime fighting trio of Angels. And one by one as we each turned 18, we moved out and drove the wedge further. We didn't make a concentrated effort to hang with each other. My oldest sister was the first to move out and she ended up across country- a few times. Then it was me. I was caught up in the San Fransisco night life and partied hard regularly. My friends were my family now. By the time my little sister moved out I can't even tell you what she was up to as we were both out doing our thing.

Then at the age of 19 another Angel came into my life. I had my first son. My family rallied around me and we all prepped for this new addition. They were an amazing source of support. We had all moved back in with my mom and were under the same roof but still living separate lives. We loved and doted on the baby but not on each other. Then by the time my son was 9 months, we were all on our separate ways again. Shortly after, my little sister was preparing for her own Angel. Once again we all got excited and celebrated our newest family member. But it wasn't long before all three of us were in separate states. My oldest sister was across the country in Ohio and my son and I moved to Washington, leaving all three of us sisters in 3 different states.

Once my youngest sister and I were both moms, I have to say that I started to see her in a new light. She was an amazing mother and we finally had something in common that drew us together. But I met my husband shortly after moving and got busy setting up life and family in Washington while she was in California meeting her husband and setting up her life and family. Our older sister's life in Ohio was a mystery. I can't speak for them, but I didn't make the effort I could have to stay in touch with either of them. I was focused on my family and what we were doing.

Here we are now all well into our 30's. My oldest sister is back in the Bay Area attending culinary school. My husband and I are expecting our 3rd little boy and my youngest sister and her husband are the proud parents of 4 beautiful and amazing kids. I am not sure why, but I feel like in the last year we have all gotten closer. It's easy to explain for my youngest sister and I as we are parents and can relate to a myriad of issues. All we had to do was make the effort with each other. I admire the way she handles her family. They are super lucky to have her. I always tell her she is a swan. She was a little quiet and awkward growing up but once she hit adulthood she blossomed into this beautiful and amazing woman. I am just sorry I missed so much of it. And my older sister (who was really lost to me for years after she moved to the Midwest) is a kind, nurturing, silly, sassy woman with an amazing future in the palm of her hands! I am also sorry I missed out on who she was for so long.

So I feel like I am rediscovering my sisters for the first time since we were Charlies Angels running around the yard using sticks as guns and taking down imaginary bad guys. We call each other regularly. We talk openly. And yes, we even say I love you. The beauty is, after decades of emotional distance, we truly mean it.

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