Cussy McCusserton

I’ve struggled with a dirty mouth my whole life. I blame it on my higher than usual testosterone levels for a girl and my brief affair with a sailor (true story). Since becoming a mom I REALLY try to hold my tongue and be a good girl. But it doesn’t always work. When I lose my temper it just feels good to drop an F bomb or two. Hell. I wrote a whole blog about that dirty little pleasure! I also tend to have a dirty mouth when I’m in pain. If I hurt in any way I’ll cuss. That’s how my loved ones know that I’m in pain. Ironically when the pain gets really bad, I switch to “Stupid” and I pout.


So anyhoo, this past year, since we got hit by the drunk driver last October, I have been dealing with lots of pain. My back, my neck, headaches, and nerve damage to my right arm. Sometimes it’s “stupid” bad and sometimes it’s just “F-bomb” bad. I’ve done massage, physical therapy, chiropractic, pain killers, and cortisone steroid injections to ease the pain. We’re making progress but there’s always some level of pain each day.

Then in Mid-July I was blessed to have rejoined my prior employer and become employed again after 17 months of unemployment! Being that almost 7 months of that was spent on bed rest and 9 months of it had been spent dealing with my injuries from the accident, it’s been a hard adjustment to go back to work. I’m trying to adjust from going from extremely minimal activity & stimulation to 100 MPH each day! I’m exhausted!

The exhaustion paired with the pain has turned me into a Cussy McCusserton! I need to be stopped! Those of you who have followed my blog from the beginning may have noticed a few more cuss words than usual as of late. Oopsie! My bad! I’m really trying to stop!

You know it’s bad when your son- your TEENAGE son- tries to start a cuss jar. My response to that? I’m not fucking paying you when I cuss! Oopsie again! Point taken.

So I’m really trying my dear followers. I’ve never been much of a lady per se. More of a chick. I doubt my dirty mouth will ever be fully clean (Clean it up with Orbit?!) but I need to exercise that whole “there’s a time and a place” thing my mom taught me. Shit. This is gonna be hard.

Sometimes a girl just need a good F$*#!

Somtimes life gets overwhelming. Sometimes you can feel the anxiety building. Sometimes you're just down right pissy and you need a release. Yes, sometimes you just need a good F$*#!

Let me clarify that I'm not talking about what you dirty birdies probably think I'm talking about (although that's kinda great too!). I'm talking about screaming out the F word! You know it feels good ladies. There's something so amazing and cathartic about peppering your sentances with an F-Bomb or two!

"Where are my F-ing keys?!"

"Why is this F-inbg house never clean?!"

"Green means GO F-er!"

"Clean your F-ing room!" (as said to your husband because none of us would ever utilize this foul language with our sweet children)

"Are you F-ing kidding me?!" (My personal fav!)

Yes, that ever versitile word packs a punch that only it can do. It turns a request into a demand. It shows you mean F-ing business. And it provides a form of release that only the F-bomb can do.

There is a time and a place for the F word.  You don't just bust it out anywhere ladies.  You can't just drop it at work, the grocery store, or church.

"Where are my F-ing reports?!"

"Are you guys out of F-ing Cool Whip?"

"A-F-ing-Men"

No.  You need to choose carefully when and where you use this most beloved of words.  It is a gift, a treasure, a delight.

For me personally it's like taking the cap off an emotional bottle.  I keep my cool as long as possible but once I reach F-bomb status we know I've hit a wall.  And at that point the addition of the F bomb to every other sentance is sheer luxury upon my lips!  It eases the intensity of the moment.  It's like tiny moments that ease my tention and provide clarity.

I am most likely to use the F-bomb during a bad day or when I'm in pain.  For either instance the people around me know that once the first F-bomb is dropped it's all business!

So while I don't use it as part of my every day vernacular, I love it so.  It may not be an every day thing but sometimes a girl truly does just need a good F$*#!