Sunday, August 8, 2010

And Mommy is BACK!

Okay, so you've read all I've written about bed rest and so many of the emotions it stirs. One that I don't think I really elaborated on was jealousy. I'll admit it. I was just plain jealous. Of who? My own husband. I wasn't jealous that he had to do all the cleaning, cooking, laundry, fetching, shopping, worrying, bread winning, etc.(okay... maybe a little- I AM a control freak after all!). No, no. I was jealous that all of the sudden, he was the best thing in the world to our 3yr old and I simply had nothing to offer that kid!

Our 3yr old was patient at first with the situation. He'd sit in bed with me and watch movies and we found little creative ways to play. But he slowly learned that mom was out of the equation when it came to anything he needed. So dad fast became his favorite. Dad read books. Dad took him to the park. Dad read to him at bedtime and got him to brush. Dad made him dinner and put on his favorite movie. Dad. DAD. DAD! The term "No! Dad do it!" was a regular occurrence in our house for months. And he began to utilize my bed rest to his advantage. I'd ask him to do something and he'd yell "NO!" and run down the hall because he was aware I could not chase him. Damn.

But then I was released to modified bed rest a few weeks ago. That meant that a few times a week I can leave the house for a "sit down" trip. Like a movie, dinner out, the park, etc. I can stand for a short period of time and can do minimal walking. The rest of the time I am sitting with my feet up still. But things could be a little more normal. This little bit of freedom did wonders for my attitude and well being. That much was to be expected. But what I didn't expect was how much of a relief these little freedoms would mean to my 3yr old!

I remember the first time we left the house together to go somewhere. As we drove past a local strip mall, my little boy pointed out each store to see if I remembered it. "Mom! That's the store with the Thomas the Tank Engine! Mom! There's the pet store!". He was so excited to reintroduce me to the outside world! And then little by little he relied on me more. Ahhhh.. heart melting. But this past week or so has been the bees knees for mom! I am actually outranking dad! I get called in the middle of the night. I get to read his bedtime stories. I get to give him baths. And the other day he switched the seating arrangements at the dinner table so that he sits next to ME! Mommy is back!

I have tried not to gloat to my husband... but I'm really bad at it because the truth is that I am ecstatic! My 14yr old has a much better grasp of our situation so he resented my husband and I equally (LOL! But not really....). But the 3yr old was tough. So now it feels amazing to be mommy again and not that lump of baby maker stuck in bed all day! I'm back! I'm back! I'm back!

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