Sunday, August 22, 2010
I. Am. Ready.
So here I am at 37 weeks. Today I am 37 weeks and 3 days. I am just about as pregnant as I have ever been since my 1st baby was born at 37 weeks and my 2nd was born at 37 1/2 weeks. And I feel it! I know I've been absent from my posts but I have been out and a about and enjoying life outside my house for the first time in months! I have been soaking in the compliments and comments about my belly. Answering the question "When are you due?" and waddling to as many places as my body will allow me. Additionally, my sister and her family moved around the corner from us just as I hit 36 weeks and came off full bed rest! So for the first time in months my days have been full, busy, and wonderful!
I have to admit that for the last 2 weeks (since 35 1/2 weeks which is when full lung development starts to occur) I have had mixed emotions about belly baby arriving. There is obvious relief that for the first time since finding out we were pregnant he is safe and can come when he chooses. But then after so many months of bed rest and trying to keep him in until he is safe, you kinda don't want him to come out yet. You kinda need him to stay in so you can enjoy being pregnant the way you are supposed to. It's a tough gear to shift to.
But I do have to say that after 2 weeks of relief and being able to get up and move about for the first time..... I AM READY NOW! There is a gradual physical adjustment to your pregnancy that you experience while pregnant over the course of 40 weeks. This is an adjustment I didn't get to experience since I was sitting or laying down for the bulk of my pregnancy. Therefore as I move about and do all the things I dreamed of for months, there is an incredible amount of discomfort which is only amplified at night when I am forced to sleep on my side. My hip joints feel like they are splintering into a million pieces. Sometimes when I get up to pee I can barely walk. This is all new to me! I didn't have this issue with my last two. And while at first I simply wrote it off and told my husband I can't complain because we are so lucky that we are still pregnant, I no longer feel that gracious! I'm tired and want sleep! Even if it's an hour or two between feedings! And since coming off of strict bed rest I have had contractions every day as my body adjusts to carrying this heavy load. It's exhausting! I keep telling my husband that I feel like I'm balancing a boulder on 2 sticks! And because he is a big baby when he stretches and moves, it can be downright painful!
And this isn't all in my head either. This is a big baby. I make big babies. At my 30 week ultrasound he measured 1lb. 4oz. ahead of schedule. That was almost 2 full months ago. So if he was 4lbs. 4oz. almost 8 weeks ago he has to be a bruiser by now! And I can feel it! I have an OB appointment this week and we will do another ultrasound to try and determine his size. Once we know his size we will schedule me to be induced. If he grows too large then a C-Section will be required which is not what I want. It just seems crazy to me to plan his birth. For months we didn't know when he'd come. The goal was to NOT deliver him. And my last 2 pregnancies resulted in early delivery so I was still working up until the days I went into labor! I've never felt "ready". I've never had hospital bags packed. I've never sat and wished my water would just break so I can have this kid already! All new to me.
Here is the good thing about all the trouble with this pregnancy. My husband and I had determined that we were done having children before we got pregnant this time. But to me it didn't seem right and a piece of me mourned the fact that I would be closing the door on my child baring years. But this pregnancy has been just the closure I needed for that chapter of my life! I can safely say I am all done and I am satisfied with the the idea of never being pregnant again! I have always LOVED being pregnant and I still loved this pregnancy and feeling our little sweetie grow inside me. It's a miracle you can't explain to people. With that said... I am ready to be done. I am ready to raise our children and send them off into the world! Next stop- grandma! In about 10-20 years!