I'm Melting

I had my baby 5 months ago. So I'm hitting a stage in my post pregnancy life that I had blocked out after my last two babies. It's the stage where your body fat starts to go away (YIPPEE!). But you still have all that pregnancy skin left (BOOOOOOO!). This combination creates the appearance you are melting.

Oh you know what I'm talking about. Let's start up top. My chins. My face was round and adorable pregnant. Now, it's all slid off my face and is precariously dangling off my neck below my chin. Awesome.

Heading a bit south we reach the breasts. I'm still breast feeding so it's not as bad as it's gonna get. But I like to describe post breast feeding boobs as "An egg in a sock". You know, when you bend over after the shower to dry your legs and your boobs just dangle there....like an egg in a sock.

Now head around back. Because we have another set of boobs making an appearance below your shoulder blades. That’s right! It's our old friend back fat! Once again, what was taut in pregnancy must now sag.

Back around front ladies we will find every new mom's arch nemesis. You know it. I know it. It's the post baby belly. This lovely piece of real estate can only be compared to a large deflated balloon. I just sit and poke mine. I dig my fingers in trying to find any sign of abdominal muscle. Nope. Not a sign.

Finally we move back around once more to take a look at what used to be your bum. I have a saying that wraps up my post pregnancy bum. "My J-Lo booty has turned into a Jell-O booty". Awe. Some.

This is not my first rodeo so I am aware that things will start to move closer to their original location in time. But it's this phase that I loathe. Where it looks like parts of my body are melting off and into a puddle on the floor around me. Here’s the part where I coo “But it was all worth it and I’d do it again!”. Um. No. I’m almost 35. This will never happen again.

Now where’d I put that Shake Weight?