Monday, February 21, 2011

Grandma Has Taken My Body Hostage

So..... this should be me in about 50 years. However, this is how I feel now. Like a sassy young woman locked in an old lady's body. Although, it looks like she's in better shape than me.

It all started when I was 25. I used to exercise, do kick boxing, and go running. Around this time I woke up one morning in the most pain I had ever known. By back hurt so bad I literally had to call a friend to help me get out of bed! And much to my chagrin (proof of premature aging is the use of the word "chagrin") she also had to help me get dressed- underwear included. It was hell getting to the car and even worse riding in it. The doctor looked me over, asked what I had been doing lately and came to the determination that I had an inflammation of the joint that connects my hip to my spine. Pain killers, muscle relaxers & rest.

Over the next few years this would happen from time to time and the same routine would take place. Then my exercise program was in high gear in preparation for my wedding. By the time I hit my 3rd flare up in 6 months my Dr sent me in for an MRI. Turns out it was herniated disks. Awesome.

So over the course of the next few years I drastically limited my activity and revised my bucket list (No sky diving, no horseback riding, no bungee jumping, etc.). This all helped to tame the flare ups. But I put on 25lbs the first year from the change in activity level. Boo.

I got tired of just sitting. So in 2008 after my aunt dies of breast cancer at the age of 38 & my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer the next day, I decided I needed to get back out there and LIVE! Back problems be damned! The next 2 years I bowled, played laser tag, rock climbed (okay- it was a wall at the mall but it counts!, surfed, zip lined, snorkeled, kayaked and much more! It was amazeballs! It took some concentration to avoid flare ups but I had finally figured out how to ride the line between the young me and the old me!

Then in 2010 I was forced into bed rest for 23 weeks. Then I delivered, which was hard on my body due to the bed rest. Then I got hit by a drunk driver. Then I had surgery to remove my gall bladder a few weeks after the accident. 2010 left me feeling like my body doesn't belong to me. I don't feel strong. I don't feel like I'm where I want to be.

I've been in physical therapy, chiropractic & massage since the accident as they are trying to fix the neck issues I obtained from it and keep my spine in place to avoid a flare up in my lower back. But I woke up Saturday morning and when I went to get out of bed, my legs collapsed on me. Uh oh. I know this. My back is out. WHY? Why do I have to do this again?! I got to the chiropractor as soon as they opened, crying and cussing like a sailor the whole time. My body is twisted & crooked like an old lady. I FEEL like an old lady.

So as soon as this flare up is done it will be my goal to get my body back. I'm not talking about being skinny. 3 kids and a hubby who likey the curves have sealed that deal. I'm talking about being strong. To feel my age if not younger. I'm no old lady so I will get past this.


  1. I really hope that you get your body back and that you get strong soon. Best of luck.

  2. oh, yuck! so sorry ... but I love that you have a little spirit in your "old" lady body ... that should help you get up and get going! Every time I creak and moan when getting off the floor I think, "I'm not that old ... where do I go from there?!?!" :)

  3. That's a lot of traumas for your body in one year! Maybe adding some acupuncture if it's an option to speed the effects everything you are doing?

  4. Momma I will be praying for you! You know, the testimony in you being alive after the drunk driver is amazing. I've had so many loveys that weren't as lucky. I will keep you on my mind in my heart daily <3 God is good and I will send loving & healing vibes your way.

  5. Awww crap Margaret! I know exactly how you feel! (i swear we are related somehow...i will investigate this) Evil twin maybe?
    Get to feeling better and then you and I need to team up and hold each other accountable. I need to lose abot 30 pounds and maybe we can motivate each other?! Think about it while you are on the mend will ya? Heal fast my friend! Thinking of ya!

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