Peek-a-Boo! I Smell You!

I have been M.I.A.- I know.  Life gets a little busy with a husband, three boys, and a full time job.  And now, because I obviously needed MORE to do, I have started my own business!  I have always been outspoken and full of personality.  People pick up on it (especially at in home parties) and are always trying to get me to sell this or that.  Make Up, Scrapbooking, Candles, Food, etc.  But it's never been my thing.  I already have my hands full!  Turns out I just never found something that I was passionate enough about.  Until I was introduced to Scentsy.

Last fall the company I work for sent Scentsy Warmers and some bars to each of our office.  They did spicy scents to invoke cozy Holiday memories for the customers that visited our office.  We had a put out a Pumpkin scent for Thanksgiving and a bayberry and cinnamon scent for Christmas.  We have quite a large office space so I was a little doubtful that this little warmer thingy could make such a large space smell good.  But it did!  Amazing!  And everyone who walked through the door commented on it.

This made me think that this little warmer thingy might work well in my house.  I am a smell freak.  I have drawers full of candles and storage bins full of various sprays, plug ins, and reeds.  But in a house with 3 boys, 1 husband, & 3 dogs nothing had worked the way I really needed it to.  So I figured I'd add this to my Christmas list and we could see if it ended up being what I was looking for or if it ended up in the storage container of other failed items.

My husband, bless his heart, doesn't do computers.  So while he knew I wanted a Scentsy warmer for Christmas he didn't know where to get it.  So he got me a knock off version and its bars from a local grocery store.  I was quite excited!  My 5 year old had selected scents himself and he helped me set up the warmer on Christmas Day.  So excited!  But then, a dud.   The waxes they got me required the FULL BAR in order to produce a noticeable smell.  So that week I got on Ebay and found some Scentsy bars for sale. Aaaaaaah, much better!

Then one day an Instagram friend posted some pictures of her Scentsy Inventory.  WHAT?!  I had no idea she was a consultant!  So I contacted her so I could do an order.  I ordered a combo pack and got a REAL Scentsy warmer, a plug in warmer, and some more bars.  In talking with my friend, she offered to set up an online party and send me her samples so I could take them to my friends.  This was great for me because I loved the product so much but didn't want to have an in home party.  Through my online party I was able to earn enough FREE product and credit to buy a Silhouette warmer & the two additional wraps, a Twinkle Warmer, and 3 bars of scent.  This would have been $124.00 if I hadn't hosted my party.  But because my friends bought so much, I was able to earn enough free product and half price items to get it for less than $50.00!  I.  Was.  Hooked.

I signed up and became a consultant.  Never had I been so passionate about ANY product.  But after years of searching for the magic bullet that would make my home smell more welcoming and less- manly, I knew I wanted to help other people discover it as well!  As I had more children I couldn't keep open flames going around the house so the candles all ended up in a drawer.  And the plug ins worked if you replaced them constantly.  And let's face it- constantly replacing candles and plug ins is expensive!  So what I loved about my Scentsy warmer was that for between $20-35 (The price of ONE decent jar candle) I could buy the warmer.  Then after that the bars are just $5.00!  And they last 60-80 hours!  That's 2 full weeks of non-stop use.  So if you never turn your warmer off you get 2 full weeks of amazing smell.  But most of us will turn off our warmers when we are asleep or when we go to work.  So really a bar lasts a month!  That's way cheaper than candles or plug ins!  Plus you can change out the smells whenever you want.

Once I signed up I was pleasantly surprised to find that Scentsy provides a copious amount of free sales and marketing materials to its consultants through our online work bench.  And if you want added party or marketing materials there's an online store and everything is extremely reasonably priced.  You are truly a business owner.  Scentsy offers online training, resources, incentive trips, certifications, annual conferences, and recognition!  Where has this been all my life!  So my first goal is to introduce Scentsy to more people through sales and through introducing them to the opportunity to own their own business.  The second goal is to be able to quit my full time job within the next 1-2 years and sell Scentsy full time.  Sound impossible?  Check into Scentsy.  This is one of the fastest growing companies in the US and it's going global as we speak!

I am so committed to this company so if you want to know more just let me know.  There's way to sell Scentsy for every personality type.  Shy?  Basket parties and online parties may be your ticket.  Super outgoing?  Then in home parties and local business sales may be right for you!  Plus, you can take your kids with you!  I am doing a party this week and my 5 year old will be coming with to play with their kids.  There' so reason not to try!  Visit my site to buy Scentsy, book a party opportunity, or to join my team and make this your career!  www.margaretsimon.scentsy.us

Dear Drunk Driver,

Dear Drunk Driver,

It's been 15 months since you hit us. I know this because my baby, who was 4 weeks old and in the car, is now 16 months old. I know that because I have been in pain for 15 months. I have been through physical therapy, chiropractic, massage, and three rounds of cortisone injections in the last 15 months. I have been on pain killers for 15 months. And I am still not fixed.

I have trouble lifting my right arm due to the damaged disks in my neck that have left me with painful nerve damage in my arm. It's painful to put on a jacket or fasten my own bra. It's hard to lift my own children. My arm is weak. I've woken up in the middle of the night unable to feel my arm or tell if my hand is touching something. Thanks for that.

I am now 2 inches shorter than I was before you slammed into us. TWO inches. That's about 1/2 and inch for each disk that you damaged. My spine is still a bit twisted. While it's no longer this bad,

My hips don't sit even and I wear down the botton of the shoes on my right foot faster that my left and the clothes I wear always end up twisted to the right of my body.  I have had chronic headaches since the accident.  For months they were so painful I couldn't get out of bed some days until the handful of painkillers finally set in.  This made me unable to take care of my children. 

So tell me drunk driver, were those few beers worht it?  Did you have a good time with your buddies?  Was it worth it not to wait until you were 21 to drink?  Was it worth it not to wait a few hours until you were sober before driving home?

For the record, I don't wish you harm.  I don't want your life to be ruined by this event.  You were just a kid.  But I do want you to learn.  I hope this has been an aweful experience for you too.  I hope you kow how lucky you are that no one was killed that night.  I hope you realize that God was with you.  Yes.  You.  You were so lucky that we were all in S.U.V.'s and that the car you hit head on after you hit us was a Hummer.  You were blessed that night just as we were.  But I hope that this shook you.  I hope you NEVER make this choice again. I hope that when you got out of your car and saw that you hit a car full of babies that it shook you. I hope you understand the repricussions and that you don't think yourself the victim.  I hope you understand why you went to jail and why it's hard to get insurance now or why employers may pass you up because of your history.  And I hope you take all these seriosly and accept your responisbility for them.

As for me, I am still working on recovery.  Pain free days are few and far between and surgery may be in my future as all the therapies we've tried these last 15 months haven't yielded results.  There's been improvement, but I'm not fixed.  I'm tired of doctor's appointments and pain killers.  I'm tired of not being able to sleep or waking up in pain. I'm tired of having to think about how I'm going to carry my baby.  I'm just tired.

So please drunk driver, promise you'll never do this again.  Please know it's not worth it.  Please tell your friends how hard this has been.  Now that you know better, do better.

Wrap it up! A year in review as inspired by @daddyrunsalot

2011 was quite a year.  The plate was full but thankfully in many great ways.  After the suckage that was 2010, it was a relief to start filling days with happy things.  Sure there were hiccups and stubles but comparitively it was a great year.

So here is the year in review.  This idea was stolen borrow from my twin John (@daddyrunsalot) over at daddyrunsalot.com - who I adore!  It's a glance at the last year of my life in blogs, which I know you've all be eagerly waiting for!

January
Great blog month where I wrote about My Modern Family, My baby growing too fast, my strong opinions on a mother's right to breast feed wherever she wants, sporting my Coach diaper bag at the welfare office, the day I contracted Cooties, coping with my father-in-law's suicide a year later,  the ingredients for a great husband, and I responded to an article I was quoted in for The Chicago Tribune in which they called pregnancy bed rest a myth.

February
For such a short month, February offered up an abundance of blogs for my readers!  I started the month by coming to terms with the fact that I drive a mini-van.  I then wrote one of my most popular posts which was a recipe for Pizza Cupcakes.  I blogged about my hatred for mornings, declared all of my boys my Valentines,  realized that I needed to get my sense of humor back, took a good hard look at my post baby body and threw up in my mouth a little,  got a Stylish Blogger award, got mad at the grandma who took over my body,  created a grattitude challenge to thank all the people who were amazing to my family the year before,   questioned my own parenting (so you don't have to), and I took a good hard look at why I didn't grow up to be a mermaid.

March
I started March reflecting on the fact that at that time a year before I could have died and my baby could have died.  I became a skinny brain surgeon,  I realized a was a little fish in this whole blogging thing, I saw my 4 year old's heart, and I wrote my number one most popular blog of all time about what strong ass bitches my family pumps out!

April
April garnered fewer blogs.  But I was able to still declare my hatred for the dentist,  I said goodbye to my grandpa almost a half year after he died, I got irritated by bad customer service, and I got lost in paradise!

May
As the year continued, the baby got busier, and I had more on my plate I didn't get to blog as much.  Ah, the life of a parent!  But in May I wrote about turning 35, tried to keep you all tuning in, wrote about my Maui memorial, I was able to declare my love for a support group that has heloed my husband and I deal with his father's suicide,  I summed up what it's like to live in a house full of boys, and rejoiced in having a normal day. 

June
I apparently was feeling overwhelmed with being a stay at home mom in June.  While I was only able to crank out two blogs the entire month, they were good.  The first was about the imbalance between what happens on Father's day vs. Mother's day.  The next is one of my favorite pieces I have ever written and it has since been in my top 10 read blogs of all time!  It's more of a thesis on housewivery's history.

July
July offered up some highs and lows.  My first blog was a rant on the demons that haunt you when you raise a child with any type of special need. Then I slid right into the battle between myself and the mirror, I wondered how the music I listened to growing up got to be considered "Oldies", and I let it all out when I declared that every mom just needs a good f$*#!

August
I went back to work in July so August was my first full month as a working mom again.  The first of two blogs I managed in August examined my thoughts on getting back to "normal".   In my second offering I shared our philisophy on parenting and the lessons we have learned (so far).  You're welcome.

September
Somehow in September I upped the blog count!  I am always amused by the search terms used to find my blog and how absolutely random and quite often filthy they are- and how they lead people to me!  SO that was my first blog.  Then I took you into the dark underworld of baby fight club, shared what makes my marraige perfect, I showed my boobs on an x-ray,  said goodbye to my beloved All My Children, and did my fisrt and only (not so) wordless Wednesday.

October
The remainder of the year was a downword blogging spiral with little to offer.  But what there was, was amusing!  October was a detail of all the things mommies don't need now that they have kids.

November
We ended the blogging year in November when my husband suffered a second loss due to suicide when his childhood best friend took his own life.

I am comitted to getting more of these blogs out of my head in 2012.  Even though the writing got slim towards the end of 2011, the blogs were all there.  They were just trapped in my little mommy head while I learned how to juggle three kids and a job.  But I haven't forgotten you my dear readers!  So look for more in 2012 and thanks for sticking with me!

Larry The Toll Booth Guy

Since I've returned to work,. I've had to adjust to sitting in traffic on the way to work and on the way home.  most days it's not too bad and I manage a half hour commute.  But sometimes it gets heavy and I get stuck in an hour to an hour and a half of traffic.  But I recently found a remedy to make the traffic bearable.  I have an iPhone so I'll pull up my Netflix app and listen to stand up comedy routines while I sit in traffic.  Yes, I'm that crazy lady alone in her car laughing her ass off.

A few weeks ago I was listening to a comedian who had a piano brought out on stage so he could read some of his poetry.  He didn't play piano so he asked if anyone in the audience did.  Several people responded with raised hands and drunken hoots and hollers.  Ultimately Larry was chosen. 

Larry walked on stage slowly and at his own pace.  He was a heavy set gentleman in a T-shirt and hoodie, shorts, and tennis shoes.  He had a dopey look on his face and an even dopier laugh.  Some would say that he may have been enjoying a treat of the green leafy variety before the show.  He sat down at the piano.  The comedian asked his name and what he did for a living.  He answered that his name was Larry and that he was a toll booth collector.  Classic comedy fodder.  The comedian and Larry exchanged a few jokes and chuckles back and forth.  Easy money for the comedian as Larry just sat and giggled at every witty comment with no retort.  Just a stupid look on his face.  God love him.

Then it was time for the poetry.  This comedian's shtick was to read funny and obscure "poems" while someone played different songs in the back ground.  All of it was unrehearsed since he pulled his piano player from the audience each time.  Whether the player was good or bad, this was a classic comedy formula.  There is no way this wouldn't end up funny!

So he asked Larry to play something smooth.  And no one saw what came next.  Larry the toll booth guy was a classically trained pianist!  He played beautifully.  Exquisite even.  I was blown away!

It's been weeks since I listened to this show.  And I keep thinking about Larry the toll booth guy.  I, just as everyone else in that crowd, took one look at this guy and expected that we were in for a performance of chopsticks or Twinkle Twinkle.  But we judged too quickly.  Who knew this portly fellow with the stupid grin and the blue collar job was sitting on this amazing talent.  And why wasn't he using this gift?  It made me wonder how many of us stop using our talents.  What happened that made us abandon our dreams and stop using our gifts.  Why aren't we the things we wanted to be when we were little.  Didn't they tell us that we could be anything we wanted to be?  Did Larry really dream of being a toll booth guy?  Methinks that he didn't spend hours practicing with a coach to be a toll booth worker.  Methinks those hours were spent at a piano. 

I know my current profession wasn't my childhood dream.  I also know what took me off course.  I became a mom at an early age.  Dream chasing stopped and paycheck chasing began.  While I'm good at what I do and it definitely takes care of my family, it's not what I dreamed and it's not what I feel I was born to do.  So where do we go from here?  How do I get back to the place where I chase my dreams?  Are we all Larry?  Are we all sitting on our gifts?  Are we all hiding such incredible talent that no one can see?

This comedy show I listened to on my way to work one morning left me with many questions.  It also reminded me not to judge people by their appearance or even what they do for a living.  We are more than our clothing and we are more than the title on our business cards.  Let us not ever forget that.

Thank you for the unexpected lesson Larry the Toll Booth Guy.

The Second Time Around

So October became a blogging bust. The month got side railed when we had an unexpected tragedy strike. A childhood friend of my husband’s took his own life. As you can imagine, this sent my husband reeling. Especially because many of the circumstances surrounding this man’s suicide were similar to my father-in-law’s suicide, which my husband is still processing.




I spent a good portion of the month being angry. Angry at my father-in-law, angry at my husband’s friend, and just angry that I have to watch my husband hurt so much. I love him and I want to fix him. But this isn’t a “fixable” situation. Suicide leaves a mark that never goes away. So we don’t fix, but we learn how to incorporate our grief and frustration into life moving forward. That is what my husband has been trying to do. He tries to heal while I sit on the outside protectively watching over and being angry that he has to endure this.



The week before his friend committed suicide, I was angry at my father-in-law. It was the week of my husband’s birthday so my husband had lots of pain and mixed feelings. See, once someone you love dearly commits suicide, every holiday and birthday after that is marred. You wish you could see that person or make that phone call. But you can’t. Something is just missing. So I was just mad and my husband was just hurting. Then to find out that this had happened to his friend sent me into protective mode and I was mad again. Here’s what I came to realize and if you are considering suicide please know this:



Suicide doesn’t take the pain away, it just transfers it to the people you love.



True story. At my S.O.S. group we hear so many stories of how our loved ones were in a daily agonizing pain that we cannot even comprehend. Knowing they aren’t in that pain anymore provides some sort of weird comfort. But what are we left with? Daily tears and questions. While we can still rationalize that despite our pain life is worth living, it is still an unbearable mess some days. And, yes, it’s not fair that we now carry it.



My husband’s friend had 2 daughters and a wife that are now a part of our exclusive group. His daughters are 18 & 10. His wife is now a widow. He suffer from bi-polar disorder and was attempting to step down off his lithium so he could feel like himself again.  Now he's gone.  Not fair. But is it also fair to ask this man to continue to suffer a depression we can’t comprehend? Was the love he felt for his family not stronger that the loathing he had for his life? Did he stop to think about the wake that his absence would leave in the lives of the people who loved him so dearly? Is it fair that his parents have now outlived a child?  These are the questions that will never be answered and they are the weight that his family will carry. I know because we carry the same weight.



Because my husband’s grief process was delayed for a year due to my bed rest, he is in the muck of it right now. And he is now in the double muck because he has lost a father as well as a good friend. My husband is a good man. The best man I have ever met. I know he will get through this. But I worry about him. I want him to be happy and whole. I don’t know how long that’s going to take or if he will ever be the same again. But we made vows so we will continue to evolve together. He is my best friend and my heart.