Wrap it up! A year in review as inspired by @daddyrunsalot

2011 was quite a year.  The plate was full but thankfully in many great ways.  After the suckage that was 2010, it was a relief to start filling days with happy things.  Sure there were hiccups and stubles but comparitively it was a great year.

So here is the year in review.  This idea was stolen borrow from my twin John (@daddyrunsalot) over at daddyrunsalot.com - who I adore!  It's a glance at the last year of my life in blogs, which I know you've all be eagerly waiting for!

January
Great blog month where I wrote about My Modern Family, My baby growing too fast, my strong opinions on a mother's right to breast feed wherever she wants, sporting my Coach diaper bag at the welfare office, the day I contracted Cooties, coping with my father-in-law's suicide a year later,  the ingredients for a great husband, and I responded to an article I was quoted in for The Chicago Tribune in which they called pregnancy bed rest a myth.

February
For such a short month, February offered up an abundance of blogs for my readers!  I started the month by coming to terms with the fact that I drive a mini-van.  I then wrote one of my most popular posts which was a recipe for Pizza Cupcakes.  I blogged about my hatred for mornings, declared all of my boys my Valentines,  realized that I needed to get my sense of humor back, took a good hard look at my post baby body and threw up in my mouth a little,  got a Stylish Blogger award, got mad at the grandma who took over my body,  created a grattitude challenge to thank all the people who were amazing to my family the year before,   questioned my own parenting (so you don't have to), and I took a good hard look at why I didn't grow up to be a mermaid.

March
I started March reflecting on the fact that at that time a year before I could have died and my baby could have died.  I became a skinny brain surgeon,  I realized a was a little fish in this whole blogging thing, I saw my 4 year old's heart, and I wrote my number one most popular blog of all time about what strong ass bitches my family pumps out!

April
April garnered fewer blogs.  But I was able to still declare my hatred for the dentist,  I said goodbye to my grandpa almost a half year after he died, I got irritated by bad customer service, and I got lost in paradise!

May
As the year continued, the baby got busier, and I had more on my plate I didn't get to blog as much.  Ah, the life of a parent!  But in May I wrote about turning 35, tried to keep you all tuning in, wrote about my Maui memorial, I was able to declare my love for a support group that has heloed my husband and I deal with his father's suicide,  I summed up what it's like to live in a house full of boys, and rejoiced in having a normal day. 

June
I apparently was feeling overwhelmed with being a stay at home mom in June.  While I was only able to crank out two blogs the entire month, they were good.  The first was about the imbalance between what happens on Father's day vs. Mother's day.  The next is one of my favorite pieces I have ever written and it has since been in my top 10 read blogs of all time!  It's more of a thesis on housewivery's history.

July
July offered up some highs and lows.  My first blog was a rant on the demons that haunt you when you raise a child with any type of special need. Then I slid right into the battle between myself and the mirror, I wondered how the music I listened to growing up got to be considered "Oldies", and I let it all out when I declared that every mom just needs a good f$*#!

August
I went back to work in July so August was my first full month as a working mom again.  The first of two blogs I managed in August examined my thoughts on getting back to "normal".   In my second offering I shared our philisophy on parenting and the lessons we have learned (so far).  You're welcome.

September
Somehow in September I upped the blog count!  I am always amused by the search terms used to find my blog and how absolutely random and quite often filthy they are- and how they lead people to me!  SO that was my first blog.  Then I took you into the dark underworld of baby fight club, shared what makes my marraige perfect, I showed my boobs on an x-ray,  said goodbye to my beloved All My Children, and did my fisrt and only (not so) wordless Wednesday.

October
The remainder of the year was a downword blogging spiral with little to offer.  But what there was, was amusing!  October was a detail of all the things mommies don't need now that they have kids.

November
We ended the blogging year in November when my husband suffered a second loss due to suicide when his childhood best friend took his own life.

I am comitted to getting more of these blogs out of my head in 2012.  Even though the writing got slim towards the end of 2011, the blogs were all there.  They were just trapped in my little mommy head while I learned how to juggle three kids and a job.  But I haven't forgotten you my dear readers!  So look for more in 2012 and thanks for sticking with me!

The One About My Grandpa

I've been thinking about my grandpa a lot lately. My grandpa passed away last year. In the midst of all the craziness that was going on in our lives. It was one more thing to bottle and stuff down deep inside. But now we are dealing with all the things that happened last year and thus my grandpa has been on my mind.

My grandpa wasn't one of those sweet grandpas who swooped you up on his lap and read you books when you came to visit. He was a big old tough as nails tower of a man. He was stern and old fashioned. He was a "you better say yes sir and yes ma'am" type of guy. He expected us to behave properly and give respect. I remember a specific instance when I didn't call my Aunt Jennifer "AUNT" Jennifer. Aunt Jen was 6 years older than me so she didn't seem like an aunt. She was like one of the cousins. So the slip was natural. But my grandpa towered over me and game me what for. From there on it was AUNT Jennifer. I think as he got older his demeanor changed and he softened up. My younger cousins got a different grandpa that we older cousins got. But we moved away when I was 11 so I didn't get much of an opportunity to know that sweet grandpa.

In 2009 my grandpa was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Directly after his first chemo treatment (He was determined to fight since my Aunt Jennifer fought her cancer so hard before succumbing to it in 2008) he ended up in the ICU. My grandma was told to gather family and that he wouldn't make it. We all hopped on overnight flights from all over the country to come say our good byes. It was hard to see my big strong tower of a grandpa in such a frail state where he couldn't even speak. But we all did our best to say goodbye properly. Then my grandma allowed them to take him off the machines and meds. And that's when grandpa proved just how strong he is and how this whole death thing was going to be on HIS terms. He somehow got better. They had to move him out of ICU (as there was no treatment for him) & into a regular room. Where he continued to improve. Talk. Stand up. Crack his smart ass jokes. It was confusing. Then they released him home to hospice. Where he hung on. For almost a year! Have you ever heard the term "Heaven won't have me and hell's afraid I'll take over"? Yes. My grandpa was tough as nails and he was going to do it HIS way.

So like I said, I've been thinking about him. I have two memories of my grandfather that I will always hold dear. The first was when I went to visit Ohio for my cousin's wedding. I ended up getting really bad food poisoning & my grandma was gone for the night. It was just me and grandpa. I was soooooo ill. And I have never seen my grandpa so concerned. He took such amazing care of me that night. He was soft and caring and worried. It is one of my fondest memories of him. The second was when he was on his "death bed". Once he was released to hospice at his house we all sat and waited. His pastor came over one afternoon and we gathered around his bed and held hands and I got to pray with my grandparents and my mother and a few other family members. It was one of the most special moments of my life.

Yeah, my grandpa was a tough as nails kind of guy. But he was an amazingly strong man who did it his way up until the end. The end HE chose. Not the doctors. I miss him. And I'm grateful for these two special memories I have of him. I know he's up in heaven in the softest recliner ever watching boxing and holding hands with my Aunt Jennifer.